One of those nights...

    Well. Here I am again. It's 3am and I've been awake since 2. Bummer. Scotty just fell asleep and at least I slept for 3 hrs but he, bless him, is just now going to bed. We mine as well have children because we are up anyway and I would rather be taking care of something precious than lying on the couch thinking of things I need to do, or shouldn't have done or whatever...oh well. C'est la vie as the French would say.
I have been reading several books by Francine Rivers. My friend Kim had told be about some of the books she has written on women in the bible and how she puts her own perspective on how she felt these women in bible felt during their journey. One of my favorite stories in the bible is the story of Ruth and Boaz. Francine Rivers wrote a book called, "Unshaken" about the journey of Ruth and Naomi and im telling you this book just sucked me right in. I used to read this story often in my single days (I know this is going to sound super cheesy) and it gave me both a sense of encouragement and hope that as long as I was in obedience to the Lord's calling in my life, the right man would come along. And happily I say, he did. :) but now that I am married I look at this story in an entirely different way. F. Rivers had such a way of expressing how Ruth sacrificed everything for the love of her husband and how she truly grasped the meaning of being his "helpmate." If Scotty were reading this, I'm sure he would crack up because "home ec" is not something that I thrive in. Like many of us out there, I tend to be more interested in conquering, well, you know the business of the outside world. I have no shame in admitting if we could afford it, I would have someone come and deep clean my tiny apartment once a month (or so) Isn't that just so vain? Doesn't bother me in the least to admit it. Personally, while working at The Inn, we do all of it and for the past 8 yrs I have scrubbed more toilets than you can count, cooked as many meals as any other person out there, so bravo for me....right? So why the heck would I want to do that when I get home? Oh,Nikki...what lessons there are for you to learn, still. I'm trying to grasp, in little bits and pieces, the true meaning of being my husband's help mate. Scotty rarely asks for a home cooked meal, after a long day at work, he doesn't come in and demand a clean home, I know he understands...but, isn't there such an overwhelming since of joy that I can provide that "haven" for my husband? Ruth did just that for Boaz. I am finding that it is not that we women can't have our own desires and dreams...it is just as important to the Lord as anything. But there are moments and seasons in life that we may have to drop a thing or two or more to be our husband's help mate. I used to and actually still do (again something I'm still trying to grasp a hold of) get a little uptight when Scotty would call and ask me to come sit with him while he is "creating" something or whatever. And I'd go and sit with him (which I love by the way) there would be times I would be thinking well, I know it would please him if he could walk into a clean home tonight after work, or I could go to the grocery store and cook him a meal, but what I'm finding out is he would rather me just be sitting in a room with him talking and enjoying each others company than me worrying about all that other stuff. And frankly...I enjoy that much more too! Haha! But being in a room together, even if I'm not accomplishing anything else, I'm with my husband and we are together in it. I think that is the key...we are TOGETHER in it. It is hard in this crazy world today to grasp the meaning of being "together."
   We live in such a day and age where it is all about pleasing ourselves and what makes "me" happy. We get so caught up in the "me" in life...what we don't realize it begins ruining our relationships. This goes for married or single ppl. It is hard work keeping a good relationship going. God never said that any good relationship is easy...it takes work. I want to work at my relationship with my husband because he us worth every bit of it!
   Wowzers....I don't know if I'm making sense because I know I have a long way to go in figuring this out. But my heart's desire is that I'm aware of it. And even when I act like a spoiled brat, (I do have my moments) I buck up a little and remember that one of the greatest joys in marriage is that we, as women, have the wonderful opportunity of being our husband's helpmate. I truly feel that is a glorious call!